William Judge Apologizes to Helena
Blavatsky
William Q. Judge
Adyar
Headquarters in 1884: a drawing made by William
Q. Judge
on the spot, and published in “The Path” magazine
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A 2011 Editorial Note:
In the following letter, dated May 16, 1885, William
Judge answers to the May 1 letter from H. P. Blavatsky
to him. (See “Letters
Between Blavatsky and Judge - 1”)
We reproduce the text from “Theosophical History”,
volume VI, number 5, January 1997, pp. 164-166.
The editor of the magazine, James Santucci, writes in
his “Editor’s Comments” that the present text “survived
thanks to the archives of the Theosophical Society at
Adyar and to the detective work of Michael Gomes.” We
thank “Theosophical History” for publishing this
document.
Underlined words are thus in the original. The
transcriber,
Mr. Gomes, writes he believes the underlining was done
by
Henry S. Olcott. Words in brackets, followed by question
marks, are attempts by the transcriber to understand
the
original. A question mark in square brackets - [?] -
means
that there is doubt as to the word in the originals.
While writing the present letter, W. Q. Judge was
still struggling to
understand the 1884-1885 events. He soon would learn the
lesson of
confidence in H.P.B.’s honesty, to which this letter refers,
and play a key
role in the theosophical movement. In 1893, in his text
“A Reminiscence”,
he wrote: “It remains a fact that the T.S. [the theosophical movement]
stands or falls by H.P. Blavatsky. Give her up as an
idea, withdraw from
the path traced by her under orders, belittle her, and
the organization
will rot; but remember her and what she represented,
and we triumph.”
(“Theosophical Articles”, W. Q. Judge, Theosophy Co.,
vol. I, p. 162.)
(Carlos Cardoso Aveline)
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Dear H.P.B. May 16, 1885
A pall of horrible misunderstanding seems to be about us. When I left
India I left letters for you & Olcott fully explaining & also assuring
you of my continued affection & friendship, but Olcott only writes to abuse
me and you to grieve over my backsliding. Then from London I wrote you again
assuring you that I was all right. Now I get yours from Greco. I am sorry
indeed. Humanity seems to never get any better but steadily worse.
Ah! that pig of a Doctor.[1]
My first surmise was correct. He seemed bad and dangerous, but I was lulled by
letters from the Masters he had received in which he was commended and I was
foolish enough to give him confidentially, some analyses of your character
which I had better have kept to myself but
I was no worse than Olcott. All of
it was impersonal for I did not suppose we were trying to injure you. I was certainly
not.
I do not care what you did or what you are I am still the same friend as
ever and shall so remain.
All I ever said was that it seemed as if you had lied and played tricks
now and then but I always said that still I believed in you. And I do. Let us
not beat around the bush. You have lied now & then & perhaps played
some tricks but I tell you I do not care a tinker’s damn. [2] You are to me as you were ever and what silly steps I have
taken were due to bad policy of Olcott’s in a way that it is useless to go
into.
I did not leave India because I got a message from a Mahatma. I never
got any message from any Mahatma either pretended or real while I was in India.
That disposes of Hartmann. He couldn’t fool me with anything. When I
announced my intended return he was pleased as a hen with an egg and almost
cackled, but pretended to be sorry and tried to dissuade me. I merely told him so
that if Damodar refused me the money he would lend it and he did promise it in
case Damodar failed me; that was all. If H.S.O. had not been so nearly [?] there
I would not have left. But I had decided long before and only waited this long
so that Hartmann should have no time to do any damage. I was therefore right.
And I tell I did no harm by leaving. O. writes I “threw away the crown” &c.
To the [devil?] with such folly. If I thought I wanted a crown I would at once renounce
the chance leading to it. My dear HPB if Master will not enlighten you about me
then I must say nothing and remain to work out my own salvation as I can.
If Olcott hadn’t been such a fearful phenomena monger we should never
have had so much trouble. But he must always retail everything he ever saw or
heard of.
I tell you neither you, nor Olcott, nor Holloway, nor deceit, nor trick,
nor message, nor devil, nor Hartmann, had anything to do with my departure from
India, and perhaps someday that departure will be of benefit to the Society and
the Cause.
What I wrote about to Hartmann is a ridiculous message about Holloway
which if it emanated from a Mahatma showed lack of knowledge to say the least.
But let us drop that.
I am as staunch a friend as ever. I thank you for your belief in me. As
to the Billing drama [3] it is folly and fraud. I am sorry you ever
placed yourself in her favor or that I ever saw her.
The last are these:
1. H.S.O. writes “you (I) left India because you have 2 children.” 2. H.S.O. writes two weeks after “Ah! you left
because Hartmann palmed off on you a pretended [directive?] so to do.”
H.S.O. had better think first and then speak. As for L.C. Holloway
enough said. I have not seen her since I came back except to deliver a pair of
[drawers?] Miss Arundale bought her in London. She does not like me.
I would like to see you again. I have made a contract for six months
expiring Oct. next or before, to work here in a law office. After that I know
not what; and I care not. I will not explain again in writing. I enclose you
the case of a friend who asks advice. You may be able to make some suggestions.
As ever then, I remain faithful to you as well as to the cause and
begging your pardon for needless criticisms.
William Q. Judge
NOTES:
[1] This is a reference
to Dr. Franz Hartmann. (CCA)
[2] At this point Judge
is still profoundly misled. He had been the victim of intrigue and
misinformation while he was India. H. P. Blavatsky did not lie, and did not
play tricks. This fact, by the way, is of the greatest and most decisive importance,
for no liar or trickster can ever be a true theosophist, or deserve anyone’s
confidence. Having been born under the Zodiacal sign of Leo, with Moon in Libra,
Ascendant in Cancer, and Saturn and Mercury in Virgo, H.P. Blavatsky had
self-confidence and self-respect enough to be utterly sincere; and her mistake,
if there was one, was perhaps to be at times too aggressive towards false
people and liars. This personal feeling she evidently tried to control, with partial
success. (CCA)
[3] As to Mrs. Billing,
see “Letters Between Blavatsky and Judge - 01”. (CCA)
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On the role of the esoteric movement in the
ethical awakening of mankind during the 21st century, see the book “The Fire and Light of Theosophical Literature”, by
Carlos Cardoso Aveline.
Published in
2013 by The Aquarian Theosophist,
the volume has 255 pages and can be obtained through Amazon Books.
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